PTown Celebrates 10th Anniversary of Marriage Equality in the United States

A Provincetown pedicab carries two just-married husbands
down Commercial Street as the couple is cheered by passersby.

On May 17th, 2004, Massachusetts became the first municipality in the United States, and 6th in the world, to grant marriage licenses to same-sex couples.
That day, hundreds of people lined our sidewalks all day long, cheering each couple who walked out of Provincetown Town Hall with their license in hand, and there were even weddings taking place right there on the Town Hall lawn as tears of joy were shed not only by the couples, but by strangers who witnessed the events of that day.
75 volunteers had been enlisted and trained, and by day's end they would help in the process of issuing marriage licenses to 154 couples, with nearly one third of them traveling here from other states. During that year a total of 873 marriage licenses were granted in Provincetown, with 848 of them issued to same-sex couples. To date, well over 4,000 gay and lesbian couples have tied the knot in PTown.
Since Massachusetts opened the door for marriage equality in America on that day 10 years ago, 17 states, along with 16 foreign governments, now recognize same-sex marriages, with many more decisions in process across the United States and around the world. Arkansas became the most recent US victory this past week.
In the summertime photo above, two grooms are being pedaled down Commercial Street in a pedicab festooned with paper hearts and wedding bells, and the noise from strings of tin cans tied to the bumper and clanking down the road behind them is now a familiar sound that brings cheers from strangers as freshly married couples are applauded by folks they pass on their way down the street.
I'll say it again… Ya gotta love a town like this!

Spontaneous Celebrations Break Out in PTown as DOMA Discrimination is Ended

Impromptu celebrations of the DOMA ruling and the Proposition 8 decision took place at the
HRC store at the Aquarium Marketplace and all around the town several times over the day.

I happened to be passing the Aquarium Marketplace a few minutes after !0 o'clock yesterday morning, and from 50 feet down the block I heard a sudden eruption of cheers from a small crowd that had come together outside the doorway of the Human Rights Campaign shop. As I got closer I could see many folks jumping up and down, others shouting and whistling, and many who were waving cell phones, iPads and numerous other electronic devices in the air as they cheered, shouted with joy and hugged each other. The US Supreme Court had just announced its 5-4 decision in the case of United States v. Windsor, ruling that the provision of the federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) that denied federal benefits to same sex couples who were legally married in their own states was unconstitutional.
By a single vote the justices had found that this provision of the 17-year-old DOMA legislation unfairly denied same sex couples more than 1000 rights and federal benefits that marriage gives to heterosexual couples. The court's majority opinion held that denying these rights to a specific group of citizens created a different class of marriage that was not equal to other marriages where these rights were recognized. Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg had famously referred to "... these skim milk marriages" in March as the court considered arguments to decide whether it would hear the case. At the same time, the Obama administration had announced that it would not defend DOMA, signed into law by President Bill Clinton in 1996.
The DOMA ruling means that all married couples are now entitled to federal benefits relating to inheritance taxes, filing joint tax returns, claiming Social Security and veterans benefits, and a thousand other rights, as well as responsibilities, conferred on more than 72,000 legally married same-sex couples across the country. This ruling also helps to stabilize the families of these couples, who now can claim standing equal to other families under federal law.
The court also announced its decision on Proposition 8, the California ballot measure that had banned same-sex marriage in that state in 2008, not long after the state's supreme court had legalized it. Supporters of same sex-marriage then argued that such a ban was unconstitutional, and federal courts in California agreed. Then supporters of the ban asked the US Supreme court to uphold the ban, citing constitutional issues relating to rights of the state, but yesterday the US Supreme Court announced that it would decline to address those issues, stating that it lacked the jurisdiction to decide the case because those who had brought the case to the court lacked the proper standing, so the California court's ruling will stand, and same-sex marriage will once again be legal in California. Such marriages could take place there once again within a month. Current laws in other states remain unchanged.
Spontaneous celebrations of these two court decisions were found throughout the day as a group gathered in Town Hall, people on Commercial Street were jubilant, and the bell rang constantly for several minutes in the tower of the U U Meeting House, where a group had joyfully gathered on the lawn in front of the church.
In 2003 Massachusetts was the first state in the US to legalize marriage between same-sex couples. Since that time thousands of gay men and lesbians have come to PTown to get married. Statistics for this June won't be totaled until the end of the month, but by the last day of May, 3,455 same-sex couples had been married here. When California once again grants equal marriage rights, there will be 13 states, as well as the District of Columbia, where marriage equality thrives in this country. Married couples in these municipalities will all now be entitled to the same treatment under federal regulations, regardless of the genders of each couple, as will couples eventually marrying in other states that legalize same-sex marriages in the future. These two decisions by the court bring the United States a couple of steps closer to true equality for lesbian and gay people all over the country.

Dennis and Joe, Frequent Provincetown Visitors, Celebrate 50 Years Together

Joe and Dennis in front of the spot they chose
to exchange vows on their 50th anniversary

Walking past Town Hall I noticed two gentlemen sitting on the bench, wearing hats with an inscription reading "50 years." I stopped and inquired, and, indeed, they had been together for fifty years. I sat and talked with Dennis and Joe, who met in a movie theater in 1962 when Dennis was 22 years old, and Joe was just 18. Each felt like they had really hit it off, and they made plans to spend the next day together.
The following day, as Dennis grew tired of waiting for Joe to show up, he called the phone number he'd been given and Joe's mother told him that Joe had gone out to help a friend and wasn't expected back anytime soon. Naturally, Dennis was irritated and a bit hurt, and decided to go out himself. As he was getting ready there was a knock at the door and there stood Joe, who had made up a story to tell his mother so he could get out of the house. The two spent the entire day together, and that was it for both of them. They became fast companions, and they moved in together on the day Joe turned 21.

On their hats, Dennis and Joe each have a photograph of themselves taken in the first year they were together.  Back then, all their friends were saying their relationship had no chance because they were too young to know what they wanted, and would inevitably break up when one of them met someone else. As you might guess, as these two watched the relationships of their friends crumbling over the years, Dennis and Joe clung together, and their relationship deepened over time as they faced life's challenges and tragedies together, along with the joy of each having the other for a lifetime of love and support. In the pocket of his shirt, Dennis carries a couple of photographs taken in their early days together.

Each of their hats displays this photo from their first year together

After many years as a couple, a friend brought Dennis and Joe to Provincetown on a brief vacation, and they have been visiting frequently ever since. They returned this spring, and on May 30th they stood in front of Town Hall, at the Rose Dorothea plaque pictured above, to exchange vows, along with the new rings they had bought to celebrate their 50th anniversary. Each ring has five diamonds, each one celebrating a decade of their lives together. As a lesbian minister happened to walk by, she sensed something important going on, and stopped to talk for a moment. She then asked if she could say a few words, blessing their rings and officiating as they exchanged vows each had written for the occasion. Dennis, the more easy-going counterpart to Joe's more stoic personality, told me that he became misty-eyed that day as he heard Joe say things he'd never before expressed in all the years that they had spent together.
The two have been considering having an actual wedding, checking with their lawyer on how that might affect provisions already long in place in their wills and in several other arrangements made many years ago, before the Commonwealth of Massachusetts would legally recognize such a marriage. If they do decide to tie the knot, they will ask this same minister to perform the ceremony. Dennis told me that the old adage about never going to bed angry has been one of the secrets to keeping their relationship intact over the years, each at some time allowing the other to think he had been right when a disagreement arose, giving the relationship priority over petty grievances.
Longtime employees of the Bank of Boston, one for 18 years and the other for 35 years, both are now retired, and they return to Provincetown about three times a year. They always stay at the Breakwater Motel, in the same room every time, and as they check out today the staff will reserve their room for next year's visits. We take inspiration from Dennis and Joe, and wish them many happy returns.

Joe and Dennis were married December 12th, 2012.

Update: About a year after this original article was written, Dennis and Joe made the decision to actually get married. The ceremony took place a few months later, at Christmastime, in their own city hall. Massachusetts proudly claims the title of first state in the U.S. to legalize same-sex marriages.